Melissa – The story
will post the communication, at least from here side, out of six mails from me, she sends back one, with a lot of fluff and guff…she really does not say much , does she….
Hello (long time listener),
I am aware of libelous and slanderous statements made but my devotion to my work does not permit me the time to respond in kind to such defamation.
Kind regards,
Melissa
It would be good to have an idea with whom I correspond. Based on the contents of your email, is this xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx etc.? If this is the case, then some of your past interactions and public behavior towards me and CTTM needs to be reconciled.
As to further details, there is a time and place for everything. Public (and even private) spats are not my style; totally time-wasting.
The one thing that I will address, I have addressed and will continue to do with anyone who inquires: What is the appropriate way to approach uploading Alan’s work?
I maintain the same set of parameters that Alan used, and they are four main considerations:
1) Do not place Alan’s work in whole or in portions with anything antisemitic, antiZionist, (as examples of what might be designated hate, or illegal in many parts of the world.)
2) Direct back to the CTTM websites, but most certainly do not direct away from them. Alan (and I) built and maintained those sites. The official CTTM site are the primary source of his work and need to be respected, if not championed.
3) No part of Alan’s work that is FOR SALE ONLY should be uploaded anywhere on the internet. Alan (and I) have never put his work behind a paywall or had subscriber only sections. Thousands of his audios are available for free download, but what is ONLY for sale, e.g. Alan’s books are not for upload. This has always been the case and will always be pursued.
4) Do not use Alan’s work and material or CTTM as platforms to libel or slander.
As I said, these are the parameters of abuse that require some kind of action. Alan never bothered about, nor have I, people who re-uploaded audios or made videos if they RESPECTFULLY promoted his work and the websites. Unfortunately, as you are well aware, some people have not proceeded in that way. But contrary to things that have been said, I have never taken action on any single video, or any channel that respected those parameters, which have always been expressed to anyone who inquired about the use of Alan’s material.
As to the “she said”, this isn’t something to address at this time. One part of the strategy of a certain type of person is to embroil others in drama and intrigue, to waste time, etc. I prefer to be known by my work. I publish Not Sure almost weekly, introduce the Redux often, and make Real History podcasts. People who want to know me, and by extension my relationship with Alan, should read and listen to, and watch my work.
Thank you.
Kind regards,
Melissa
Hello,
The alanwattarchive situation made me sad. The creator of the site was known to Alan. The site went up in late April or early May of 2021 as I recall. Nice videos and a lot of work. For many months, the site directed traffic back to the official websites. At some point in the fall of 2021 (and this took an enormous amount of work to do) the top and bottom section of each of the many hundreds transcripts had all the official website and contact information removed. The site itself ceased referring traffic back to the websites, but rather to other sites. Finally, the person who made the site published their name and phone number and took calls from inquiring people. The substance of those conversations was relayed to me. A sampling included the accusation I was some sort of intelligence agent, and Alan didn’t have anyone with him, as they would have known about it, etc. Silly enough, but the tone became increasingly malicious and the stories became more hurtful.
All was well with that site until they embarked on this rather elaborate series of actions to hurt me. It is tiresome when people say “Alan wouldn’t have done that.” He loved his websites. He and I worked hard on them. He wouldn’t want them or me undermined.
As to Internet Archive, at one point Alan asked people to post his audios there, and do screen captures of the site for the Wayback Machine. I’ve seldom had any issues there as most of the people who’ve re-uploaded there have done so to support Alan and the websites.
Alan and I had mutual friends. Private we were, but there are those who knew us. These relationships are personal and private, and with those people I actually know, that I’ve shared a cup of tea with, I can discuss these things. But the exchange we are having is public. I don’t know you at all so to address all the dirt that gets slung at me isn’t something I can do.
The main thing I can share with you, is that I am committed to those parameters. It is nice when people make tribute videos or do something that brings attention to Alan’s work. But I am a fact, even if a couple of people don’t like that. I love Alan. I am devoted to his work. I’ve spent so much of my life helping him and I continue to do what I think is best, and what I think Alan would want. If there is jealousy at work that makes people able to rationalize behavior which is destructive to me in order to promote Alan in the way they see fit, this is not healthy, helpful or respectful of Alan’s work.
Kind regards,
Melissa
what was relayed to me from that site creator, but of course you know what was said, as you relayed a good deal of it to me.
I hear you say that you’d keep things to yourself. You have not confirmed previous names and emails used with me, but the content of your emails leads me to the conclusion that you are the one and same person who communicated with me early on after you and that other person spoke. We had exchanges and those you chose to share with “site creator.” You may not recall some of the emails you sent me. They were incredibly angry and hurtful.
Should I ever choose to approach this in a different way, it simply would not be in an email exchange with you or anyone else that I don’t know.
Finally, again, I refer to Alan’s own behavior in how I choose to approach this. Over the years, things were said about him. People made claims of this and that. He never publicly addressed those things. Some people said “Clear the air. Give your side.” Alan knew that was a road with no end. When people choose to believe something that is said by a third-party, no matter how credible it may sound, they’ve made a choice. Most people need to pick a side, to feel vindicated they picked the right horse, so to speak. He would not do that, and to this day, stories are still out there. This is how it is and Alan’s choice was simple: engage in public debate over the facts, waste time responding to phone calls and emails from people who just want you to “set the record straight.” It’s a losing proposition. He protected himself and his work in the ways that ultimately mattered, but he didn’t do it publicly. For those who’ve chosen what they want to believe, nothing will really satisfy. You’ve already made your position clear when you said more or less, if that’s all you’ll give me, we’re done talking.
I make the choice to rise above these dramas. It is pointless to do otherwise. I have work to do which I consider important.
The parameters of appropriate use remain and I hope that people who want to promote Alan’s work in future will find those parameters easy enough to work within.
Kind regards,
Melissa
From
Long emails with too much information. Can’t do those.
That nameless entity is a creature. I don’t use names, initials, etc. A thing at best.
I understand the full nature of what (not whom) I am dealing with. Unfortunately, you do not. However much you think you’ve gleaned online, the essence of the beast has been lost in translation. To be perfectly clear, X, this creature is dangerous. Much more dangerous than “mopping the floor” with me and trashing my reputation before thousands. Much more dangerous than that.
Of all that is said about me, there is only the basis of truth in a couple of things. All else is distorted by hate until nothing true really remains. I am surrounded by witnesses to the facts, X. It is shocking in a way to see such half truths distorted and spread publicly, since the creature knows what they say is wrong, knows the kernels of truth have been stomped on to serve their own ends, but this is the way HATE works. The creature knows I can Exhibit A, and Exhibit B with all sorts of documentation. The creature has made a gambit. I’m sure “it” thinks it has won, to “mop the floor” with me as it has.
To reiterate, the nameless. The most evil entity I’ve ever encountered. How I suffered. The public “mopping” is nothing compared to the hours, days, and weeks I spent trying to reach a core that was NO MORE. Prayers and tears, as I thought I could see the essence, that distant little trace of who once was. Poor, scared, little girl. Tragic, sad, maker of grotesque mistakes. HATER of me for possessing what they could not have: peace of mind and LOVE. The more I tried to reach the essence of “it”, the more I was rewarded with HATE. I tricked myself. The poor, scared little girl was a facade, to lure me in. Nothing actually remained. You’ve heard it for yourself. You’ve heard unhinged hate.
Nothing said about me changes one solid and indisputable fact. In the eyes of my Creator, My unnamed Love and I are ONE, united in the eyes of God, and sharing a bond few are fortunate to have. This is a real marriage. Nobody can alter my lived experience, no matter what they say, no matter how many people listen. Our relationship is a marriage, I was called WIFE.
Hatred is powerful, to be sure, but not as powerful as LOVE. If I am alone, and all is in ruins, my mind and heart are intact, my love and my UNION survives. That cannot be taken from me by a creature, or any army they gather.
If and when it is time to speak or act, I will know it. Now is not that time.
Melissa
The documentation you supplied emboldened the beast to be sure. Almost like you gave it a permission slip to “do as thou wilt.” What you do next is entirely up to you. Free will and all that.
There are times in life when one can say, “I could have done better.” “I messed up there.” Not in this case. Not in this case. You’ve called my behavior toxic and appalling. In dealing with the creature, I was loving, long-suffering, and forgiving, over and over and over. In this public “mopping” I am blameless. Believe it or not. Up to you.
As I said, you have no idea what you are actually dealing with, I do. This is dangerous, X. And you added fuel to the fire. I would like to see something different from you. Anyone can change and make new choices…except the creature. It has chosen its path and clearly there’s no turning back.
X,
Please give me peace. I have a full inbox and every day is full. I have announced that I always run weeks and months behind on correspondence.
You vacillate between angry outbursts and too much familiarity. I ask that you give me some respect.
I am available for brief and straightforward communication about the work. Nothing else.
I hear what you have asked regarding uploads. I will address this with you when I can. What I ask of you is respect for my time and privacy.
This is my last comment regarding other people. No games with that… The chinks showed within three months of arrival. By six months no relationship left.
I did not seek revenge nor was I motivated by hate. That is not who I am. You do not know me or the circumstances yet you vacillate between lashing out at me and then making nice.
You have yet to really acknowledge your own part in these smears against me. Years ago I told you who I was, yet you ignored that and listened to the defamation and fed into it with your own actions. And here is another email from you with angry accusations. Giving me a deadline…
I reiterate, X. If you have a sincere interest in doing something appropriate with the work, this can be addressed, in my time. I am about the work, not drama. So I ask that there be no more discussion of these events and these people. There is nothing to be gained by continuing with that.
I thank you in advance for hearing my request of appropriate boundaries.
Melissa